Remembering Henny Youngman

Take these jokes… please!

 

The more I think of you the less I think of you.

He’s a real pain in the neck. Of course, some people have a lower opinion of him.

He’s a real gentleman. He reminds me of St. Paul, one of the dullest towns in America.

 

Was that suit made to order?… The guy didn’t pick it up, huh?

I like the suit you’re wearing. Who shines if for you?

That’s a nice suit you’re wearing. When did the clown die?

 

Your presence makes me long for your absence.

He willed his body to science. Science is contesting the will.

 

And of course…

I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

A woman wrapped herself in Saran Wrap to take weight off. Her husband comes home, sees her, and says, "Leftovers again."

I miss my wife’s cooking… as often as I can.

 

Source: New York Times 3/1/98 from a collection of Henny Youngman books